01.
Couple therapy is the chance to take relationship crises — of imbalance, of intimacy, of communication — and use them to further our understanding of each other. When successful, couple therapy allows us to see diversity where we once saw difference, to see unmet needs where we once saw indifference, and to see dynamic interaction where we once only saw the other's flaws.
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Couple therapy fosters benevolence and goodwill by allowing us to better understand
why we act the way that they do in the relationship.
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It opens us to new possibilities on how we want to live our relationships and how we consciously shape our interactions.
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What can couple therapy achieve? Couple therapy helps couples develop lasting, long-term solutions to the conflicts weighing on the relationship.​ It can help you...
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... to gain clarity on each partner's needs and desires for the future
... feel heard and understood by your partner
... gain clarity about your own feelings and communicate them to your partner
... explore new avenues of problem-solving
... find a shared way of dealing with specific problems and challenges
... strengthen the ability to remain open and honest even in difficult situations.
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In the long term, couple therapy can foster a safer, more honest and ultimately more fulfilling relationship.​
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How is couple therapy structured? There is no blueprint for how often or how long couple therapy takes place. Generally, I see couples every two weeks, even though this can vary based on individual needs. Some couples reach their goals after only a few sessions, others come back over several years. A rule-of-thumb is that lasting change can occur in processes that last around 10 sessions, even though that can vary.
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What does couple therapy require from me? Couple therapy is most promising when all parties are open to exploring their own role in the relationship dynamics. That means being honest about your own feelings and needs, and learning to communicate them to the other. When we define the enemy as the negative dynamic (as opposed to our partner), couple therapy becomes lively, engaging and ultimately successful.
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Is couple therapy only for hetero, monogamous relationships? No, absolutely not! My work is inclusive in all senses and welcomes diversity of all kinds. I pride myself with with my work with any non-monogamous, polyamorous or open relationship form and will happily work with any constellation the partners agree on. I welcome all members of the LGBTQIA+ communities to my practice.
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Does couple therapy have to take place in person? No. While in-person therapy in my practice in Berlin-Neukölln has many advantages, it is not possible or practicable for all couples. I am happy to schedule online sessions via Zoom. This is especially useful for long-distance relationships, or when one or both partners are not in Berlin for an extended time.
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02.
Children can act as seismographs for the deeper dynamics in the family.
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Often families come to me with distress about a child or teenager acting out at school, or behaving in a way which is worrying for the parents and the surroundings. Others come when communication between parents and teenage or adult children has broken down.
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Family therapy tries to explore how the family context could help explain the individual behaviour. In this way, the "patient" is not the child acting out, or the teenager unwilling to engage its parents. The "patient", if you will, is their surroundings. In this understanding, "symptoms" are often the subconscious attempts to solve a problem for the individual or the family network.
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So systemic family therapy helps to identify context and structures within the family, and to look at these from different perspectives. The goal of family therapy is to foster understanding for each individual's needs and to establish appropriate alternative behaviours. Experience shows that after only a few sessions, most families profit from the open communication and a clearer understanding of the dynamics underlying their problems.
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Family therapy especially can profit from more diverse perspectives on the problem. This is why I often conduct family therapy with the help of a co-therapist. Two therapists allow for more depth in the understanding of especially complex, intransigent family dynamics. In this case I would suggest a capable, experienced therapist from my professional circle to join us in therapy, and agree on an individual hourly rate with the family.
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03.
When we are faced with transitions, changes and new challenges, the skills we developed in the past to problem-solve can feel outdated or obsolete.
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You might want a clearer idea of your direction in life. You might ​need support navigating changing circumstances. You might need help understanding a sudden loss of confidence or onset of anxiety.
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Individual coaching can help re-connect you with your most basic wishes and needs. It can help you liberate yourself from the "musts" and the "shoulds" to gain a clearer vision of where you want to go.
Together we try to understand important patterns as well as cross-generational wishes and missions, which help contextualize the troubles you have today.
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My style of individual coaching is resource oriented, meaning that it trusts in your own problem-solving capabilities and helps in identifying and liberating those skills in the current context.
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Individual coaching can vary in scope and length, based in your own specific needs. Often clients achieve a palpable sense of relief in a few sessions.
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Individual coaching can also serve as a first step into deeper psychological work. Through years of experience in psychiatric case work, I can help you identify deeper dynamics and refer you to expert psychotherapeutic care.
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